1. It's annoying.
2. Nobody cares.
3. God will smite you, as he did me.
Back in August, I put my daughter on the potty and she happily pooped in there like a freaking champ. I was super excited about how easy this potty training thing was going to be and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops that my daughter was the greatest two-year-old pooper in the history of the world. Instead, I thought of a clever remark that side-stepped my rule of never claiming my kid was the greatest at something, then posted it on facebook:
Now everyone knows how awesome my kid is at pooping on the potty AND how clever and funny I am!
If God could have commented on my post, I think it would have been something along the lines of "Somebody needs a lesson in humility. #smh" I would have settled for that convicting comment, but he decided to go ahead with the actual lesson instead...
Not two weeks later, Addison developed the worst diaper rash I've ever seen (we're talking blisters), which started what I like to refer to as "the worst six months of my life." In short, she refused to poop. Anywhere. For six months. (Don't worry, she actually did poop during those six months...just not as an act of will).
After six grueling months of prune juice, suppositories, and following the experts' advice of letting the child be in control, I reached my breaking point and decided that if she was going to whine about how much her poops hurt, then she could whine about it while sitting on the freaking potty.
So, for two weeks, I watched for signs that she needed to poop and then basically forced her to sit on the potty until she went.
One night she sat on the potty for over two hours, clenching her little bum and refusing to go. During this time, I tried encouraging her, distracting her, bribing her, giving her privacy, reasoning with her, and yelling at her (okay, that one wasn't really an attempt to get her to poop as much as it was just me losing my cool). I went in my room and cried. Then I thought, maybe if she sees me crying, it will make her want to poop... so I tried that. I prayed for her and I prayed with her. I even suggested she pray about it.
Her response when she finally pooped in the potty? "I was tired of holding it in." Go figure.
Well, I've learned my lesson. My child is not better than yours. We're currently working on fully potty training her, using sticker charts and candy to bribe her like the average family that we are.
Have you ever regretted posting something on social media? Have you had any horrible potty training experiences?
Remember that time Addison peed all over the floor...while yelling "oh my, what is happening!" I remember that like it was yesterday...
ReplyDeleteLOVE your post - you're a great mom and a great writer.
thanks! Addison had such a good time with you guys. And I can totally picture that scene happening exactly the way you described it! It makes me laugh every time I think about it :)
DeleteFunny you are writing about this. When I saw that post, something about it must have struck me because I have remembered it everytime my co-workers or sister-in-law talk about potty training their kids. And everytime, I have thought "Wow, Chellee is so lucky", and then "poor Addison doesn't get candy for pooping, it's like a right of passage." Lol.
ReplyDeleteI think all kids go through the no-poop phase. I'm told that when I was 5 and my brother was potty training, I flat-out refused to poop, and caused all kinds of stress and frustration for my family. Eventually my parents adapted a sticker poop chart for each of us and it became something of a "who poops most" competition. Though, I'm not sure that pooping all the time is much better than pooping never...
That's awesome. Did you win?
DeleteThere are 2 sides to every coin. "It isn't what you say, it's how you say it!" is what I take away from the message you are sending here. But consider the alternative. "It isn't how you way it, it's what you hear." For instance, compare "My husband is the best" to "My husband is amazing." The message I hear in both statements is exactly the same. I don't hear "I'm superior!"... I hear, "I am more than satisfied with what I have, and I want to share the joy. In the declaration "My child is the smartest!", my take away is "My child worked hard, did well, and I'm proud of him/her. And I want to share the joy it gives me." And when someone makes the statement "Nobody cares" what I hear is "YOU don't care. And you have no tolerance for anyone who doesn't have the same opinion as you. Personally, I love it when everyone brags about their kids on Facebook. For me, it's a way to share the events of their lives which I am otherwise excluded from as I live so far away from them. Say it however you want, the important part is that you share. Perhaps for your next blog, you could offer a lesson in "Listening with some graciousness"?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that my post offended you. I thought it was obvious that the list was a joke since I followed it up with a story about a time that I bragged about my kid on facebook. I do it all the time. I also love my friends' kids and am proud of them when they do something well (especially knowing the crap they put their parents through a lot of the time)! I don't know if I know you since you posted as 'Anonymous' but I think most of my friends understood that I was joking about that list (I have an off-beat sense of humor and they know that). I actually DO care and I DO want my friends to share about their kids on facebook. I was being sarcastic. Looking over it again though, I can see that it comes across a bit harsh, even if I meant it as a joke. Sorry about that!
DeleteI disagree with you about the comparison thing. "I have the best husband in the world" has the implication that "You do not have the best husband in the world" whereas "My husband is amazing" does not imply "Your husband is not amazing." I personally struggle a lot with comparing myself to others and it's easier for me to be happy for someone when I can't get caught up in the implications about my own life. I know a lot of my friends struggle with this as well. I've made the decision not to use the term "best," and other words like it, for the benefit of such friends.