My child is not better than yours.

There are three main reasons why you shouldn't brag about your kids on facebook:

1. It's annoying.
2. Nobody cares.
3. God will smite you, as he did me.

Back in August, I put my daughter on the potty and she happily pooped in there like a freaking champ. I was super excited about how easy this potty training thing was going to be and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops that my daughter was the greatest two-year-old pooper in the history of the world. Instead, I thought of a clever remark that side-stepped my rule of never claiming my kid was the greatest at something, then posted it on facebook:

Now everyone knows how awesome my kid is at pooping on the potty AND how clever and funny I am!

If God could have commented on my post, I think it would have been something along the lines of "Somebody needs a lesson in humility. #smh" I would have settled for that convicting comment, but he decided to go ahead with the actual lesson instead...

Not two weeks later, Addison developed the worst diaper rash I've ever seen (we're talking blisters), which started what I like to refer to as "the worst six months of my life." In short, she refused to poop. Anywhere. For six months. (Don't worry, she actually did poop during those six months...just not as an act of will).

After six grueling months of prune juice, suppositories, and following the experts' advice of letting the child be in control, I reached my breaking point and decided that if she was going to whine about how much her poops hurt, then she could whine about it while sitting on the freaking potty.

So, for two weeks, I watched for signs that she needed to poop and then basically forced her to sit on the potty until she went.

One night she sat on the potty for over two hours, clenching her little bum and refusing to go. During this time, I tried encouraging her, distracting her, bribing her, giving her privacy, reasoning with her, and yelling at her (okay, that one wasn't really an attempt to get her to poop as much as it was just me losing my cool). I went in my room and cried. Then I thought, maybe if she sees me crying, it will make her want to poop... so I tried that. I prayed for her and I prayed with her. I even suggested she pray about it.

Her response when she finally pooped in the potty? "I was tired of holding it in." Go figure.

Well, I've learned my lesson. My child is not better than yours. We're currently working on fully potty training her, using sticker charts and candy to bribe her like the average family that we are.

Have you ever regretted posting something on social media? Have you had any horrible potty training experiences?

The good, the bad, and the ugly

As a rule, I try not to post things like "I have the best husband in the world" or "my daughter is the smartest three-year-old ever" on social media. Still, if you take a gander at my facebook page, you will probably conclude that my kids are amazing, my husband is amazing, I am amazing, and my life is, yup: amazing.

A few weeks ago, I posted a picture on facebook of some pretty awesome cow cupcakes that I made for my daughter's third birthday party at Chick-fil-A:

What I didn't mention was the mess I made in the kitchen because I was too stupid to figure out how to transfer the batter from the mixing bowl to the individual cupcake wrappers or my daughter's meltdown when she first saw them because she was apparently hoping for Minnie Mouse cupcakes for her birthday.

The cupcakes did turn out pretty cool though, so it makes sense that I would want to share that with my friends. But I long for authenticity (the good, the bad, and the ugly) even when it comes to social media, which is becoming a major means of communication for me these days.

Alas (couldn't think of a better transition word to fit here), I have created this blog to help bring some balance to those "superior" posts that we all make. My intention is not to vent or complain about my life (so if I do, please call me out on it), but to be honest about my shortcomings, hopefully give you a few laughs, and maybe share some words of wisdom with each other about tough situations that we all face!